Written April 17, 2000

Sleep greatful sleep

Come to me

Rest my head and restore my body

Let me feel ashured that I will wake up ready to start a new day.

Ready to take on the challenges of the world

If someone or something gets in my way,

I will let them know that I am okay and nothing will get me down.

But my beautiful sleep is the only way that can happen.

Good night world, good night my love.

Sleep wonderful sleep come to me.

Looking back at the last two years and to sum up everything that has happened to me is hard to do. Mainly there has been so much I can’t express it all right here and right now. There is no way I cna ever think that I would be here at Camp Calumet working full time and living in the Conference Center. Never would i think that I would be in love with the girl of my dreams and she would be in love (though I am not sure) with me. However wo don’t have a relationship becuase we are 1,200 miles away from one another. Funny how life turns out!!!
I guess in order to summerize the last two years or so I would say it has been about CHANGE!!
What do you think of when you hear the word Change?
The money in your pocket?
The color of someone’s hair?
The clothes on your back?
Or would you think about the attitudes of some people or the wya they live their loves or how they make their decisions?
It is funny how someone can experience all of these things. You take a boy who is far away from home — lost, confused and who does not feel loved and take him and put him in a place where he learns to have direction in his life.
He is close to the friends that he loves, He has some sort of an idea what he wants to do with his life.
In order to make his life perfect is if he has the girl that he loves standing beside him.
Is it right to have this boy’s life perfect?
Some might say yes and some might say no.
“He doesn’t deserve to have a good life.”
“He doesn’t do things the way I do them, so he is wrong”
If they say that they are fools!!!!
Everyone deserves the perfect life. I see my life now and say I almost have the “perfect” life but what about two years form now? What would I consider the perfect life and will I have it?

Sitting here early this morning on Jackman’s ridge I feel at peace.  All of my worries and cares are not with me right now.  They are forgotten because of the wonderous beauty that lies in front of me.  I hope to come up here early many mornings.  B said that she was going to come up too.  If I had someone to share this with — to share your love [...]

“It is not Circumstances that need altering first, but yourselves, and then the conditions will naturally alter.”  God Calling I have been up since 4am this morning.  To my surprise I am not tired!  I am gald I have some quiet time before the day starts. I need to figure things out in my life.  J came the other day and I have not gotten a chance to catch up [...]

I have reached one of my goals this summer. I have written something in this journal every day.  My EE kids came today and I am already tired.  I will write about my first day later.  now I need my rest.

Wow — what an amazing day!! God I have learned more about you tdoay than I have in a long time. Thank you for bringing me here and meeting all the wonderful guys. They gave me so much insight this weekend. I love being where I am, feeling accepted and included. I have not felt so included in a long time. Beofre I realize what I learned here I have [...]

Well its about 1:30 am. I am tired but I can’t sleep. I am in Eudora, IA on a men’s retreat. It is good and excatly what I need right now. God I love talking with you and sharing with you and talking about you. I feel storng towards your minstry everyday. thank you for having B ask me to come here and thank you for letting me get to [...]

Boy lots of stuff has happened to me. I switched my major — to what I don’t know. I know that whatever direction I go in is the right one. I am thinking Religion with either a socology or communications minor but I am not sure. I ended up having a wonderful break. I loved being home for Christmas and I loved seeing James and Jeremy. We had a blast. [...]

I have so many prayers to you God and you know what is in my heart. You know what I have been praying lately. I have been so confused about relationships, who has been in my life and who changes my life. I haven’t felt like myself recently. I don’t know who I really feel like. I don’t even know what I am spoe to feel like. I want to [...]

I am so thankful for you wathcing out for me this weekend. Thank you for my talks with JH and the postive comments I got from K and J and all the rest of the people that talked to me on Sunday. thank you also for bringing J back to me. I still need to talk to her but at least she is calling me again. That makes me happy. [...]

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